What If UR Wrong

“The highest form of ignorance is when you reject something you know nothing about.”

Wayne Dyer

Case # 1101

by Mark Karapetyan

One day, all the nations of the world gathered for a critical, emergency meeting. For three days straight, they discussed and deliberated God’s role in the world throughout history. On the last day of the meetings, they unanimously decided to file a criminal law suit against God for malice, cruelty, and negligence against humanity.

All the necessary forms were completed, filled, and signed by all the leaders. A subpoena ad testificandum was issued, demanding God appear in person before the court to defend Himself against the charges.  

Exactly five weeks later, on an early Friday morning, all the leaders assembled in Antwerp, Belgium, to personally witness the most anticipated trial in the history of mankind.

Billions of people from around the globe tuned in to their electronic, smart devices to watch the event that was being streamed live. Thousands of people who were separated by armed guards, traffic barricades and safety barriers, gathered outside of the court house to witness a glimpse of the historic trial. Hundreds of people arrived early and filled the court room. Various local, and international news agencies and reporters were present from the early hours, buzzing around the court room, roaming in and out of the building, snapping pictures of everyone and everything, anxiously waiting to record and report every second of the trial.

There was a pin-drop silence in the room as everyone was waiting for the trial to start. All eyes were on that big clock hanging on the wall of the court room. At exactly 8:59 A.M., the bailiff slowly stood up and  announced:

“ALL RISE. THE COURT OF THE WORLD JUDICIAL CIRCUIT, CRIMINAL DIVISION, IS NOW IN SESSION. THE HONORABLE JUDGE IS PRESIDING.”

Everyone jumped to their feet. The judge entered the room, immediately sat in his bench, and then asked everyone in the room to be seated.

To the right of the judge was the plaintiff, the world nations, represented by their counselor, Loki, one of Satan’s young demons. Sitting directly behind him were 218 angry witnesses eager to testify against God.

To the left of the judge, at the defendant’s bench, was Kleppy, one of God’s angels, standing alone and accompanied by no witnesses.  

Confused, the judge glanced at the way the bailiff was dressed, and commented: “Odd attire for a day like today bailiff; too hot to wear long sleeves in July!” The bailiff replied: “It’s one of these days your honor.” 

There was a deafening silence in the room as the judge quickly shuffled through a thick stack of papers and files. He then looked at his watch, took a deep sigh, and announced: “Good morning, ladies and gentlemen. It’s going to be a long, busy day, so let’s start right away. I am calling on case number 1101, the People of the World vs. God. Are both sides ready?”  

Plaintiff (Loki): “READY FOR MY PEOPLE, YOUR HONOR.”

Defendant (Kleppy): Stared at the floor, nodded his head, and said not a word…

Judge: “Will the clerk please swear in the jury?”

Clerk: “Will members of the jury please stand and raise your right hands? Do each of you swear that you will fairly try the case before this court, and that you will return a true verdict according to the evidence and the instructions of the court, so help you God?”

Loki threw his arms up in the air and interrupted: “OBJECTION, OBJECTION, OBJECTION your honor… I cannot and will not allow God to make a mockery of this court room by forcing the jury to swear by his name when he is the defendant in this case. In all fairness and equality, your honor, no one should swear by God for he is the subject of a criminal investigation. Therefore, the phrase ‘so help you God’ must be omitted and replaced by ‘so help you the truth’ instead.”   

The judge looked around the room, and asked if anyone objected. Then, he declared: “SUSTAINED!”

Almost everyone in the room clapped and cheered. The judge hit his gavel: “ORDER, ORDER…counselor, are you ready for your opening statement?”

Loki took a step forward and pleaded: “Your honor…I ask you to grant me a default judgment against the defendant, since he is not even present today.

Overruled” the judge countered; “the defendant has someone representing him.”

The judge looked at Loki and repeated the question: “Counselor, are you ready for your opening statement?”

“YES, your honor, I am” Loki cheerfully replied and then continued: “Your Honor, ladies and gentlemen of the jury: the defendant, God, has been charged with the crimes of abandonment, negligence, and cruelty against humanity for centuries. The evidence will show that throughout history, when man needed help the most, God was nowhere to be found. The evidence will show that wars, diseases, natural disasters and other calamities were in fact allowed and permitted by a God who cares not for his creation. Even today, God continues to ignore and disrespect us. Good people of the world, I ask you this: where is God this morning? He is not even present here to defend himself against these serious criminal accusations. Instead, standing next to me, is an insignificant, inexperienced angel that God sent to represent him. How pathetic of God that he doesn’t even have the courage to come here and face us directly. Fine people of this world: the testimonies you will hear from these innocent witnesses sitting behind me, who have been harmed by God’s actions, will prove to you once and for all, that the defendant, God himself, is guilty as charged.”  

The entire room erupted as most of the attendants vociferously cheered, applauded, and hurrahed Loki for his fine, courageous speech.

The liberal media instantly went into action. CBS immediately reported to the world that it was a great day for the people of earth after the jury found God guilty (although the trial hadn’t even started yet). MSNBC echoed CBS and quickly reported that billions of people were celebrating in the streets after the judge sentenced God to life in prison (even though God hadn’t even been found guilty yet). CNN without delay, reported that God had apologized and asked for sympathy during the trial (even though God wasn’t even present in the court room), and then, all of a sudden, the same news network pushed for new gun control legislations to combat the injustice God had inflicted upon humans. The New York Times had 38 reporters present who all proposed more LGBT favorable measures, and urged the world’s nations to accept more refugees in light of the jury’s decision regarding God. Twitter crashed within minutes of Loki’s speech as billions tweeted in favor of Loki and called for God’s arrest, as well as for the opening of more abortion clinics around the world. Facebook celebrated by secretly suspending all accounts owned by Christians and conservatives, and only allowing leftists and liberals to comment on the trial events live. YouTube took advantage of the opportunity and quietly deleted all right- leaning and republican think- tank channels, including all biblical educational channels.

The judge turned toward the defendant, Kleppy, and asked: “Are you ready for your opening statement?  

 Kleppy looked at the judge and quietly answered: “I have no opening statement.”

Judge: “Do you have any witnesses present to testify on your behalf?”

Kleppy stared at the floor and then sighed: “No, I don’t.”

The judge turned toward Loki and suggested: “Well, then, the prosecution may call its first witness.”

Loki turned to the witnesses behind him and cheerfully beamed: “Your honor, I call on my first witness; Dr. Zalpawski, a Holocaust survivor…” 

Clerk: “Please stand. Raise your right hand. Do you swear that the testimony you shall give in the case before this court shall be the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you God?”

Loki (Plaintiff): “OBJECTION, YOUR HONOR…”

Judge: “Sustained. Clerk, please refrain from using ‘so help me God.’”

Clerk: “Please stand. Raise your right hand. Do you promise that the testimony you shall give in the case before this court shall be the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you the truth?”

Witness: “I do.”

Loki approached his first witness and cleverly asked: “So, Dr. Zalpawski, tell everyone here how God killed your family members and caused you and millions of other brave Jews tremendous pain and suffering.”

Dr. Zalpowski: “I was 15 years old when the Nazis shipped thousands of Jews to the infamous Auschwitz concentration camps. One by one we were lead to the gas chambers to be annihilated like sheep to the slaughter. I can still smell the burning flesh and hear the painful cries of all those innocent souls who perished; these memories will last me into eternity. I lost all my family members there. Not a day goes by that I don’t remember those tragic moments. I hate going to sleep at night because I’m terrified I will dream. I’d rather stay awake to avoid dreaming.”

Mr. Zalpowski’s testimony had a penetrating effect, as many in the room wept and grieved including the bailiff.

Loki grabbed a handkerchief and handed it to his witness to wipe his tears and then gently asked: “Dr. Zalpawski, tell us, where was God when all this happened?”

Dr. Zalpawski pointed his finger to the ceiling and raged: “HE WAS NAPPING!”

Loki turned to the judge and happily announced: “Your honor, I have no further questions.”

The entire room erupted in cheers as Dr. Zalpawski finished his testimony and returned to his seat. Some in the room congratulated him, many encouraged him, and others snapped pictures with him. 

The judge asked everyone to keep order and then asked Kleppy if he was going to cross examine Dr. Zalpawski.

Kleppy respectfully declined and sat down. The judge asked Loki to bring forth his second witness.

Loki jumped to his feet and bubbled: “Your honor, I call on Miss. Abby, a brave, woman who is a fifteen year cancer survivor.

The clerk swore her in and asked her to be seated.

Loki quickly approached her and calmly inquired: “Miss Abby, while you were going through your horrific ordeal fighting cancer, did God ever lift a finger to assist you or comfort you at all?”

Miss. Abby took a deep breath as tears rolled down her cheeks: “No, of course not. I begged God for months to spare me and heal me, from a very rare, aggressive bone cancer that I was diagnosed with, but all my prayers went to waste. For the past fifteen years I have been through Chemo therapy, radiation, and various surgeries. I lost my long, beautiful hair, my eyebrows, my eyelashes, and all of my nails; I have been in so much physical pain that I wished I had died. I lost my house, my job, and all my savings because of my mounting medical bills. Not only that…”

Loki looked at the jury and interrupted: “And as always, God was missing, nowhere to be found, hiding while Nancy suffered alone.”

Miss. Abby burst into tears and couldn’t control herself. Her testimony was so powerful that it left the audience breathless. No one said a word. The only noise heard was the noise of people wiping their tears. The bailiff was also shedding tears, wiping them with his hands.

Loki put his arm around Miss. Abby’s shoulders and helped her walk back to her seat. Then, he returned to his bench and bellowed: “Your honor, I call on my third witness, Nancy Simons, a beautiful woman who was raped a long time ago by a criminal thug, that God himself created.”

Nancy was asked to stand up and swear in. Seconds later, Loki approached her and consoled: “I, along with everyone else in this room, am truly sorry for what happened to you. We want you to know that we are here for you to support you to the end. Unlike God, we want you to remember that we will never give up on you. Please, tell us in detail how God abandoned you.”

Nancy cleared her throat and sobbed: “Years ago, I was assaulted by a man while I was jogging in the park alone. I tried to fight him off, but he was too big and too strong. I cried out to God screaming at the top of my lungs: “God, please, help me, God please save me,” but no help came from anywhere, as if God were deaf. I was found unconscious, naked, and on the verge of death. Later, when I recovered, I was told that I was pregnant with the child of that rapist. To this day, that animal roams the streets free, as no one knows his whereabouts, while I suffer daily mentally and emotionally.”

Loki approached Nancy, held her hand, and squeezed it: “I’m truly sorry for what happened to you. Words cannot describe how sorrowful I am that you hurt. You don’t have to worry anymore; you will never be ignored or feel abandoned and lonely again.”

Nancy sobbed a little more, gave Loki a bear hug, and returned to her seat with the other witnesses.

All this happened while Kleppy sat down quietly. The Judge asked Kleppy again if he wanted to cross examine any of the witnesses. One more time, Kleppy respectfully declined.

The judge warned Kleppy that his silence was not working in his favor, since the witnesses were adding to the credibility of the plaintiff’s case. Kleppy, however, didn’t seem to care at all.

Then, to everyone’s surprise, Loki loudly and boldly announced his next witness: “I call on my next witness your honor…Kleppy, God’s representative!”

Everyone in the room gasped, as they didn’t expect such a strange, devious, and insidious legal move by Loki. Even the judge was impressed: “Clever move counselor,” he praised.

Kleppy proudly and slowly walked past Loki on his way to the witness stand while staring him down. He tucked his wing, raised his right hand, swore in, looked at the bailiff, smiled, and then sat down to be questioned.

With a wicked grin, Loki approached Kleppy and mocked: “So, where is your God today, Mr. Kleppy? Why is he not here to defend himself? Why is he nowhere to be found as always?”

Kleppy sat in his chair frozen like a stone statue; his eyes were locked on Loki as he kept quiet and said nothing.

Loki repeated the question louder to no avail. He became agitated and turned to the judge and complained: “Your honor, why do we need to continue this trial when it is obvious to everyone that God is making a mockery of this court. First, he doesn’t show up. Then, he sends a mute angel to represent him. If Mr. Kleppy is not going to speak and defend God, why is he present here today? He is wasting everyone’s time, your honor.”

The judge thought for a few seconds, and then considered: “Mr. Kleppy, if you are not going to cooperate and answer questions to defend your position, then, I’m going to rule in the plaintiff’s favor.” 

Kleppy, unfazed by Loki’s shrewd, sagacious tactic and the judge’s threat, walked back to his bench and sat down. 

The judge shook his head in disapproval and chided: “Well then, considering the circumstances and the evidence, along with the testimonies of the collaborating witnesses, I have no choice but to rule in favor of the plaintiff and charge God with the crimes of malice, cruelty, and negligence; crimes punishable by DEATH. Case # 1101 is now closed!”

The judge raised his arm to hit his gavel when, to everyone’s surprise, Kleppy fluttered his large wings, flew to the center of the room, and interrupted: “You fools, evil and perverse imbeciles. How dare you come here together to accuse and charge the almighty creator of everything? Since when does the created judge the creator? Who do you think you are? Snakes, brood of vipers, all of your problems are self-inflicted; before you judge God of any crimes, start by judging yourselves first. God did not create your worldly problems, YOU DID! Before you accuse God of malice, cruelty, and negligence, all of you better take a deep look in your hearts and ask your selves if you have committed any of these acts.”

Kleppy turned toward the judge and scolded: “You are the biggest bonehead of them all. Case number 1101 is just as pathetic as your microscopic mind.”

Then, he quickly faced the audience in the room and accused them: “If it were up to me, I would judge every single one of you right here for transgressing against God and condemn you to all Hell. Case # 1102, all of you have lied. Case # 1103, all of you have stolen. Case # 1104, all of you have lusted. Case # 1105, all of you have used God’s name in vain. Case # 1106, all of you have been jealous. Case # infinity, all of you deserve the death penalty because all of you are depraved, wicked, immoral, sinful creatures; but God, in His mercy, has chosen to spare you and give you a second chance. God paid a dept He did not owe. You owed a debt you could not pay. God paid it for you by dying on the cross so you don’t have to face eternal damnation; and you have the nerve to come here and file a suit against God? HOW DARE YOU!”

Everyone in the room looked down at the floor and no one dared utter a word. Kleppy looked at the liberal news media and warned: “If you misreport a single word I have said, or lie about anything you have heard me speak, like you always do, I promise you that the next fake news you report live will be on an isolated, uninhabited planet some 90 billion light years away from here!”

Kleppy turned toward the witnesses behind Loki, and gently consoled: “What you all went through was horrific and painful. God feels your pain. You must remember, however, that God didn’t intend for the world to be like this. In the beginning, God declared that His creation ‘was good’. Evil, and the father of all lies, Satan, turned this good world bad. As much as you don’t want to hear this, the reality is that with free will, there comes the freedom of choice. With the freedom of choice, there comes the possibility of choosing between good and evil. That’s the only way humans can be 100% free, living creatures. If God forces humans to pick one way or the other, humans lose their will to freely choose and become nothing but programmed mechanical agents. God, in His infinite wisdom, always turns evil into good. God takes your tears and turns them into drops of joy later on. Dr. Zalpawski, you lost all of your family members during the Holocaust, and for that, I am truly sorry. Have you questioned, however, why it is that you alone are still alive? The day you were to be executed in one of those gas chambers, do you recall what happened? The pressure valve to the main tank that supplied gas to the chamber failed because I tampered with it. God commanded me to save your life that day. Who do you think the guard behind the gas chamber who winked at you was? You lived that day because God chose to spare your life, knowing that in the future, you would become a doctor that finds a cure for neurological diseases caused by exposure to chemical gases. God, in His wisdom, Dr. Zalpawski, always turns evil into good, you just don’t realize it”

Dr. Zalpwaski started sobbing as Kleppy’s words pierced through his heart.

Kleppy approached Miss Abby and groaned: “You are a hero and a survivor for battling a deadly disease like cancer. You went through so much that words cannot even describe. Remember, however, Miss Abby, that the doctors gave you only a month to live; yet fifteen years have gone by, and you are still alive changing the lives of many. You are probably not aware that when you were going through your chemotherapy, your daughter, with whom you had not had any close relationship in years, for the first time in her life went down on her knees and asked God in faith to allow you live a little longer, and God, in His mercy, answered! Today, because of your cancer, you and your daughter enjoy a very healthy, close, mother/daughter relationship. Miss Abby, God always turns evil into good, you just don’t realize it.”

Miss Abby covered her face with both hands and started weeping. Her daughter, who was present in the court room, also wept.

Kleppy slowly walked toward Nancy, the rape victim, and sighed: “Although that rapist is roaming the streets free, God’s judgment is awaiting him, I assure you. That day was a dark, gloomy chapter in your life. I can’t express to you how deeply sorrowful I am that you were violated in that way by an evil man. No person in this room feels your pain or understands what you went through. Your tears can fill buckets and buckets of water, I am aware, but God, in His infinite wisdom and mercy, took those tears of sorrow and turned them into tears of joy…The baby you gave away for adoption turned out to be a fine young pastor who, today, travels the world and preaches the good news of the Gospel. You see Nancy, God always turns evil into good, you just don’t realize it. That’s why, I urge you to…”  

Loki erupted in anger, approached the bench, pointed his finger at the judge and threatened: “IF YOU DO NOT PUT A STOP TO THIS CIRCUS NOW, I WILL SUMMON MY DEMONS TO COME HERE AND TAKE YOUR SOUL TO HELL FOR ALL ETERNITY!”

Then, he turned around faced the cameras and angrily exploded: “GOD MUST PAY THE PRICE!”

The bailiff jumped to his feet, rolled up his long sleeves, and loudly declared: “I HAVE! LOOK AT THE SCARS FROM THE NAILS IN MY HANDS…”            

 

 

                     “It is certain, in any case, that ignorance, allied with power, is the most ferocious enemy justice can have.”

James A. Baldwin

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