What If UR Wrong


“In prayer it is better to have a heart without words than words without a heart.”

John Bunyan



The Prayer



by Mark Karapetyan


One day, God looked down from Heaven to see who was genuinely praying to Him. He noticed a pantheist nurse seated on a prayer shawl utter these words: “Namaste: I give praise to the universe. I give praise to mother earth. I give praise to all of nature and its beings. I give praise to all my guiding spirits. I thank you, universe, for allowing me to wake up this morning. I thank you for my breath. I thank you for my body. I thank you for my journey. I thank you for those who brought me into the world. Protect me from death. Protect me from sickness. Protect me from loss. I pray for long life and good physical, spiritual health. I pray for peace in the world. May mother earth be peaceful. May our guiding spirits be peaceful. May my mind be peaceful. May it be so, may it be so, may it be so… So Hum…” 

God shook His head in great disappointment and looked in another direction where he saw a Catholic priest relentlessly repeat the Ave Maria: “Hail Mary, full of grace; the Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou amongst women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death, Amen.” 

As soon as the priest finished praying the Hail Mary, he immediately switched to another long, repetitive prayer: “Hail, holy Queen, Mother of mercy, hail, our life, our sweetness and our hope. To thee do we cry, poor banished children of Eve: to thee do we send up our sighs, mourning and weeping in this vale of tears. Turn then, most gracious Advocate, thine eyes of mercy toward us, and after this our exile, show unto us the blessed fruit of thy womb, Jesus, O merciful, O loving, O sweet Virgin Mary! Amen. 

God kept silent and continued His search for a genuine prayer. He scoped the earth up and down when He finally saw a liberal, Episcopalian pray to Him: “Dear God, I come before You with love, mercy, and tolerance. Forgive those who trespass against me, but not those who disagree with me. Punish the evil Republicans, smite the wicked conservatives, and curse the NRA and all of its uneducated hicks. I ask you, Lord, to send Your Holy Spirit upon all those blind, lawless, corrupt, godless, right-wing extremist Christians, who are against open borders and illegal aliens, who oppose abortion, and who reject homosexuality. Lord, open their eyes and make them understand that they are rebelling against You and Your commandments. Thank you, Lord, that I am not as blind and as misguided as they are. Thank you for giving me the freedom to choose my gender, my sex, my race, and my own truth. In your name I pray, Amen!” 

God closed His eyes for a moment, took a deep breath, and kept silent. A few seconds later, He opened His eyes and once more searched to see who else on earth was genuinely praying to Him. Immediately, He observed a wealthy American woman freaking out, standing in her opulent kitchen next to the Italian granite top, cry out to Him: 

“GOD!!! I can’t take this anymore. Can this day get any worse? Why does my life have to be so difficult? Why do I have to suffer like this? This morning, I wake up jet-lagged from my recent trip to princess Island  with a nightmare so terrifying that I kick and push my Egyptian satin sheets off my bed and break two freshly-painted finger nails; I jump in the shower to start my day, but I have no hot water; I go downstairs to make my daily hair appointment with Fabio, but my internet is out; I call my personal trainer to confirm our appointment, but he cancels, knowing darn well that I need to be fit and ready for the summer beach season. Tomorrow, I’m supposed to fly to Paris with my girlfriends to celebrate my birthday, but I can’t find my passport anywhere. I have a sore throat, my kids are in need of my undivided non-stop attention and it’s driving me insane! I go to grab my car keys to leave; a spider jumps in front of me and scares me to death. Panic-stricken and shaken, I run toward the garage door to pull my convertible Jaguar out, and what do I see? A FLAT TIRE!!! Can you believe this Lord? My life is Hell. Why do you do this to me God? Why? I’m a good person. Is it too much to ask for help here?” 

The angels, who were standing behind God in Heaven, heard the hollow prayers and complaints of all these foolish people. They looked at each other and quietly whispered: “These ungrateful humans are not worthy of God’s love and mercy!” 

Suddenly, one of God’s young angels, Kleppy, pointed his finger toward the city of Dupnitsa and anxiously exclaimed: “Look, Lord, listen, there’s someone calling Your name…” 

God quickly turned His head, looked down and saw a poor, old widow on her knees with tears slowly running down her face, earnestly praying: 

“Father God. I come to You with a spirit of helplessness and dependence. I come to You with a heavy heart and a crushed spirit. I come to You just as I am: weak, weary, and anxious. Forgive me, O Lord, for complaining, for I am mortal. like a breath, my days, O Lord, are like a passing shadow. I don’t have much, but what I have is a precious gift from You. Lord, I ask You in meekness to give me hope when despair deadens my spirit. When I am down on my knees, lift me up. When I lose sight of you, be my guiding beacon. When I am hungry, remind me that man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from Your mouth. When I have enough, take away from me and give to those who have none. When I am weary, remind me to take Your yoke upon me for You are gentle and humble in heart. When I go through pain and suffering, remind me that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us. I ask You to hide me under the shadow of Your wings. I hold on to Your promises for Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path. Forgive my Pantheist nurse for ridiculing me and my faith in You. Forgive the Catholic priest from the church across the street who told me that my prayers to You are in vain since I am not a member of the Catholic Church. Forgive my liberal, Episcopalian sister for she means no harm. Forgive her trespasses against me, and do not hold them against her. Forgive the woman in that fancy car who hurled insults at me for not crossing the street fast enough, while she rushed to her hair appointment. My old, tired legs got the best of me and for that, I am truly sorry. Lastly, Lord, forgive me for I have not forgiven others enough. Forgive me for I have not loved others enough. Shape me and mold me to make me in the image of Your Son, Jesus. Until I meet You face to face, I patiently wait….Amen!” 


God wiped the tears running down His face, turned around and faced the angels: “This is why all humans are worthy of My love and mercy!” 




                “Prayer does not fit us for the greater work, prayer is the greater work.”

               Oswald Chambers






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Mark Karapetyan


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